Dandelions are little miracles...

Monday, January 28, 2008

ive got thru the two crazy days of the weekend finally (: saturday was spent (traumatizingly) with the gorgeous dancers from sdt and it was a totally fresh new challenging aspect. many thanks go to debs for giving me this chance. and well i certainly hope they din suffer a horrible class due to my atrocious playing! and then it was runing btw vch and arts house which are thankfully, neighbours. and so ive discovered my Inspiration - so termed by tmnt mr chong wailun - wine! haha. that accelerated my descend/ascend into my natural state of highness. and ta da. (: capppucino normally works too. ahh, how i love them. (:
and then it was yet another day today complaining and then doctor's student recital. hoho. and i do love herr oluf and richard strauss' songcycle. absolutely beautiful, especially wasserrose. (:

so its goodbye to the Singapore Complaints Choir project, at least for now. looking back, i do rmb being apprehensive abt it all. and now, im so damned happy and honoured to have been part of such a special project and event. to have met the people who came together to form the choir. to have worked with dedicated and inspiring artistes oliver and tellervo, ada and josh. to have worked with wailun (the subway meals, going psychotic, chord chionging, beating hte fear, and whatnots.) and of course, our very own rap comm/arts collective!! with the fantastic rappers shai and joshua. i do love the song! its indeed become an earworm. esp the mid section. goshhhhness. and im gonna miss rehearsals. these were hilarious, funky, and yet productive at the same time.

and yes, i just so do love projects productions recitals concerts and whatnots. being part of that magical 'building' process where u start from scratch and work ur way, headfirst and blindfolded into completion. and then the light shines. so brightly that u cant help but smile, right from that fist shaped organ we call the heart. and it gives u that energy boost to ur days.

met up with someone i got to know in dec. and its funny how the first time we met each other i was so incensed by him (for whatever reason, i have kinda forgotten) that i actually snapped at him and hey i ve never ever snapped at someone the first time we meet, i think. thats my memory of our first meeting. and its surprising to discover that he's actually very different from that irritating prat i rmbed. that hes really in fact, very good to talk to! so thanks for the chance to change my mind, before u fly off. bcos, given how fierce i was the first time its a wonder u actually bothered contacting me after. im still v touched abt hte tickets, and thanks for sharing so much with me.

chilipadi on 12:34 AM
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Friday, January 25, 2008

everyones been cranky this past week.
fiery tempers, rude remarks and curtness galore.
not to mention myself.
im still terrible at controlling my temper.
and i m talented at flicking on that 'horrid girl' switch,
just light the fuse and off i go.
sorry to all those ive been horrible to.
for being such an insensitive rude twit. :(

on a happy note
dinner today was good. im happy to have gotten to meet these people (:
we are the freaks. hur hur.
recital is coming along, slowly but surely....hopefully. and i hope we do reach the finishing line in one piece, happily.

chilipadi on 2:34 AM
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

i want to have the power to go for days without sleeping and still have energy to do everything i wanna do. but thats slowly becoming impossible and as the best friend always reprimands, its bad for me. and as mum always nags, do u wanna die young? hur hur.

i love the silence and how time, movement and all things seem to suddenly suspend for eternity when u plunge into the water. especially when ure in the ocean or even the sea. its already like this just by being in the pool. theres a deafening silence that engulfs you. and instead of being scary, its exquisite. i love it. like walking, it brings to you a blissful sense of peace, purpose and clears your thoughts. one feels almost graceful, in that timeless bubble of nothingness.
its like diving into a whole new world and the thin line btw that and our noisy, chaotic life is just the edge of the water.

uve been crowding my thoughts.
and i hate that i do not have th courage to say what i need to.

clutching at straws that seeem to slip thru my fingers with much ease,
i still wonder if i lived in an alice in wonderland state for a couple of mths.
and i think perhaps we need two more lifetimes to be on par

on another note. i love my sisters. thanks for library books so thoughtfully borrowed for me, for mudpack session, korean noodles and random madness (:

chilipadi on 11:59 PM
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Friday, January 11, 2008

its taking every ounce of determination n stubborness in me to not explode
not complain or bear grudges
to not let the small stuff bother me and just carry on
but u know, its always the small stuff that accumulate to form huge boulders
and u cant shake it off at all.
and u know, i wonder why its nearly always the same few people.
and because its my blog i shall vent it out today
what have i done to u that makes u do all these?
or is it purely just you? and if it is then im sad for u
can u face living up to yourself if thats how u work n live?
irresponsible,allmessedup,making poor excuses for urself constantly?

the line 'royally pissed' came to my mind.
and i am.
till the point where i can feel the tears building up.
booyucks to u, i only cry when i meet people like u.
n this is when i miss even more chambersounds n wxy n the trout n chambertapestry.

chilipadi on 2:14 PM
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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

good to be alive. (:
fabulous it feels, having so much to do, so much to be part of,
and loving every second of it all.
exhilarating to the point of hyperventilation,
so many people to love.
so many people who make u feel loved.
tons of new friends to make, young old local international.
everywhere anytime any ways.
and theres an undiscovered treasure trove of good stuff out there
good music.good food. awesome dances. paintings. sculptures. films. movies. musicals.
so many winding paths one can take.
in a million and one different ways
so
smile a darlie-worthy smile.
laugh from ur toes right up to ur stomach, ur heart n ur face.
giggle with childish delight, burp with all abandon!
be random, be energetic, be afraid and be wild.
u see.
theres such a lot of reasons to be happy abt.
theres such alot of things to live for. (:
life is good, even when theres tons and truckloads of shit happening.
it sounds way too optimistic i know. but hey. why not?
this is my credo.
if u bother to, u can always find a little something to make ur day or make someone's day better. (:
believe me. it goes a long way

chilipadi on 12:33 AM
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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

so i met the most random new friend this week. who knows JOHN CHEN!! oh my goodiness goshness oh my word he knows john chen!!! :( im so sad. haha. yes, that fabulously impressive beautiful sounding magical mature and whateverelseadjectives u can tenk of-pianist. whose playing i fell in love with during 07s piano festival. esp after his deutilleux sonata.
this new friend is really alike with john chen as well. both are called john. he's john cheeah! both were born in msia and grew up in nz and studied in the same uni cooolness. and! theyve been mistaken for each other a few times during their orchestral concerts and such.
anyhows. that aside. it was fun to make a new friend yet again. the randomness has reached new peaks. meeting in a train cos of an interest in my score. (:

i decided to have yet a new list of my favourite foods (: haha. sorry. its been such a long week and day. i need to destress. (:
tops of list. its indulgz for now! hoho. let me tell the world for the number ten thousandth time that i love portobello burgers! and smoothies and thickshakes and lalala cheese fondues and earl grey panna cottas and crispy pastas and mushroombites and camembert cheese and prawns and bananachoc cakes. (:
next up is magma! with its wonderful ambience and lovely authentic affordable german fare. like the bratwursts and meatloaf and awesome awesome fantastic beer hur hur. the black abbot! i love.
and then theres chwee kueh. i can eat ten at a go.
heres also to introduce the delicious mindboggling and soul-comforting food of waraku hurhur. i love the pizzas pastas the hotate nonsense and cheese mentai. oh not to mention those from sun&moon.
yes, ive been on a cheese eating spree ever since i got back from europe. for some weird reason whatever htat may be!
i love flammkuchen!!! yes. enough said.
menottis! with its mouthwatering desserts at half price so that u can eat six at one go (: and the STUFFED RAVIOLI. omg.
mexican fajitas and baked chicken stew (: only when cooked by a certain so and so who is weird enough to ban me from releasing his name to the world to hide the fact that he can cook wonderfully.
naaaaan. prataaaaaa. currrrryyyyy. oodles of it at that. and maggie mee goreng!
and and. mum's exotic weird original healthy lovely foood. (:

ali is backkkk (: welcome back bestest friend of all time. so is hilda!!! (: (:
and this is to nix and phoe and peng too. i love u guys (: haha. random but who cares.
thankyou nix for always bringing me down to earth for all the impt stuff and yet going haywire with me at times too n makin me laugh (: peng for ur phonecall and the fact that we've still been able to talk tho ure not in sg. and ur listening ear. and phoe for entertaining all my weird ideas haha. and doing all those silly stuff like the advert pic copying with me (:

lastly. it was the perfect ending to 07 when i managed to get thru work mistake free (: it was a happy happy happy moment! and so was last friday. there was the sense of wonderful accomplishment. seems like sth so trivial and easypeasy but hey its not easy for me! im just somehow dumb at this. but it has suddenly all clicked into place for me. and i m seriously enjoying every moment at the restaurant. (: and i hope it lasts. and suddenly i know i ll miss it alot. and the people. the customers. and suddenly everything seems to be happening way too fast.

chilipadi on 1:09 AM
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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

and so we come to the end of yet another year. 2007. it seems like at the end of every year, u look back and u tell urself that hey, it was a pretty good year, the most memorable one so far. doesnt it always happen? and so as cliche as it sounds, i do wanna say that 2007 has been by far the most eventful, happening, colourful and memorable year ive had in a long while. there were tons of good and bad. and at the end of the day, i still do not have much regrets. its like what they taught us in house reps, no regrets. and as ms ching says, always try to find the good in the bad. never just sit and complain and dig for bones in eggs (or sth liddat. however the phrase goes haha). i tenk thats true, n it fits with what i believe in. optimism!

2007. theres so many thngs to say that im inspired to indulge in list making, my fav blogging activity (:

i. i turned 21! haha. trivial as it may be. but hey, every little girl (n boy) dreams of this day! and so my THIS DAY arrived this year. and it was truly memorable. to celebrate with the big one, for the very first time in my life. (:
ii. i graduated! this is bittersweet, being able to finally say to myself, hey i completed it! and yet at the same time, theres the inevitable sense of nostalgia and sadness. leaving the place ive called second home for three years, and knowing i'll miss everything experienced there. i spent an enriching, fulfilling three years there, and im glad they were all lived to the fullest brim. n n, seeing ones own name for the first time ever in the papers was kinda surreal.
iii. going to europe (: enuff said.
iv. 2007 brought me tons of new friends. and strengthened old friendships. was a test of many friendships. and i got to see for myself, whom are the friends that are for real. (: sometimes it got tiring. but it was worth it.
firstly, im truly blessed to have met people like the syc members, debbie bobdog boon woon teckguan and didi (: and people like wailun hillary and angela too.
then theres gaston and jeremias; matteo and simone (two at that!); guro ragnhild; kelvin, and eiji. people from europe who touched me with their generosity. and then, theres teow, whos been great to talk to. and of course, mrs choo n dr choo with their lovely students. mdm wang and hers. (: and all the many musicians, esp daniel ho and operastudios.
then theres been nix and phoe. i couldnt have imagined the past three years without the two of u. (:
same goes to jerry. ure much missed. (:
and yes, clare kitty kevin ali royce ping and mimi. the lovely voggies. without whom school would have been weird and empty. our RPG days, our special seats, outings, company lunches, playing for each other's compos, study sessions and so onn.
not to mention twinny, granny, ideabnk, best bananababe.
finally, theres the major figure, the big one. so many things have happened this year bcos of u and thats enough said. the amt of memories, good and bad.
so there u go, such an extensive list of people who made the year memorable. and this is not even complete.
v. its not complete without the teachers! the wonderful ms arabesque, dr kan, dr zecky, THE doctor at telok blangah of gorgeous parties and operas fame, mr ng, ms patsy toh, frau kodolin, mr william, THE queen phoenix, bert, ms ching, and well. so it goes. (: they truly epitomize to me, what queen says. we should always give every one a chance. a big chance. and yes, if not for hte many chances theyve given me, the trust they have placed in me. i would never be what i have become today.
vi. i got to work at indulgz! hoho. accidents, blunders and all aside. i love it. (: much love to christin, chef, zhekai, haoyi, and andrea. and josef jean rashid and olivia. thank you for not giving up on me and teaching me so much. esp boss and chef.
vii. the many opportunities to work with wonderful teachers conductors n musicians. it was like an intensive internship for me. and i enjoyed every moment of it.
viii. learning german. never in my imagination did i think that it would be so fruitful and enjoyable and sth to look fwd to. (:

theres alot more but i cant tenk now.
may 08 be a great one for everyone. and for now, i just wanna say that all of you are much loved. (: thank you for making me a better person and teaching me so much abt life, everysingle day.
well. to those that matter anw (: theres tons of you out there. HUGS.

chilipadi on 3:15 AM
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