flowering plant in the Northern Hemisphere
with a globe of fine filaments
children (and the wind) love to blow away...
Click on the butterflies around the dandelions to get around.
Fire your imagination, Dream in colour
a boring old hag who loves to scream her head off, mutter in gibberish, and talk to random people on the streets.
Beautiful music. Gorgeous food. the Sun.Sea.Sand. Butterflies. Dance. Movies.
Spontaneity. Laughter. Love. Courage.
The Weird, Beautiful, and Unique.
The stuff dreams are made of
the Mini Austin!
the entire collection at HMV
my spanish chef (: im gonna marry him!
more of Desigual and Koi Nobori!
the yakpak hobo bag!
A Lifetime of Musicmaking with Inspiring People
and to share this with the world
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
i was innocently eating my yummy egg prata. a finger poked me and a voice said, scream! so i did. not just a normal scream, like ahh!!. like at 10 decibels kind. or even 100 decibels. i opened my incredibly stupid mouth that was connected to my brain, which decided at that moment to be incredibly fast in reacting( for once!). and i screamed at TENHUNDREDTHOUSAND decibels!!! like as if i was being murdered or sth. the entire prata shop which extends down the road, full of customers, turned and stared at the crazy girl(me). and there was silence. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!! i wanted to just dig a hole and jump in to it and hide there man!!!!! totally embarassing. the first time i ever screamed like that in public oke. i scared myself too. out of my skin. i could hear the scream echoing!!! like.OOOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGGGG. i tenk i cant go there anymore!! but i tenk i will still. its like just beside my sch?!!!??!! toodles. im going to sleep finally after such a traumatising event.i still cant bliff i did tttt!
p.s. dun laugh at me!!! booos. i totally lost it mann. nutsss.
theres too much stuff running ard in my brain now. its like an overdose of everything.. i just wish that i could empty my brain of it all. maybe one of those pensieves that dumbledore uses would be of great help.. empty my mind and my heart of all these stuff so that i dun need to frown anymore dun need to cry anymore dun need to tenk of how to solve everytthing. i feel as if i have been pulled and stretched from every possible side. yet when i tenk thats the max i can take, somehow something manages to come by and stretch me even more. i tenk im gonna break soon.
my playing is going downhill. like totally. so is my accomp. i dun see any improvement in myself at all. and miss inefficient aka me takes like..10 years more than the rest of the ppl in my sch to finish assignments. and ttheres this and that and those. theres egan. stucky. ligeti. beethoven. mr richard. hindemith who im pondering how to deal diplomatically with cos its impossible i can do it properly. arghs. and theres liszt too. and saintseans.
i seriously dunno how did we end up like this. nothing ive done seems to help. in fact they only seem to have made it worse. maybe i shld try harder. if only i had magic and i knew whats going on in your mind. cos its like worse than being strangers. its like..losing an arm. the right arm. and i just wish that everything would go back to normal.
hmms. but to ideabank.. thanx alot for everything babe..thanx for the phone call thanx for the dinner thanx for being there for me. i had great time on wed.. having dinner with you two. hilarious ehh :) and im so so happie for you!! u deserve it! im looking forward to fri..woohoos! to mr darlie. thanx alot too. i tenk i couldnt have gotten thru this week without all ur msgs. thanx for mon's dinner too. i had a great time. :) hope ur mouth is better now.. not so swollen. u take care oke.. lastly. to jeremy. thanx for thurs phone call and for being there yea.. same goes to ali n alma. haha. and yea i had a super fun time doing orch even with my lousy sibelius skills and discouragement from alan and jovan. hahaha. tskk.
and oh yea. tho this week was one of the worst i ever had, thank you for making it that much more bearable. for ur encouragment and funnies and making it so much better. for all the laughs. for giving me sth to look forward to.
sometimes u get to hear or see stuff that u would rather not have. but u alr did. thats when u tenk that ignorance is really bliss. u wish u can just pretend all is oke.
and there comes a point whereby.. u get so tired by life. by what u encounter. by the ppl. by the work. by the crapp. and everyday, u just go abt the same routine. aimlessly. struggling to stay awake and alert. to juggle everything. and just wondering when will all this end. and when can u get some rest. and u just wish that somehow u can run away to that lil island and hide for a month.
and there comes a point where nothing can really hurt u anymore. thats when u noe htat u dun give a damn anymore. u dun care. and thats kinda scary. theres just a stunned feeling or a sadness. but it comes and goes. but then again. its a feeling that goes beyond tears or words to express. u know? its just there. like a thorn u wish u could pluck out but cant. and so u live with it.
the human relationships we have in life are like. bubbles. treat them properly and they wont burst. but just one extra hard poke and they burst. and disappear. so fragile.
just random thoughts. i wanna say more but i dunno how to phrase them. next time maybe. we had a super cool and exciting RPG day at school today. we shld have more! tog with mr. goh's highly interesting entertaining and useful classes, they brought the week to a happy close. you know sth? i like this class a whole lot! its a mini circus:
theres the dear RPG( me. alan, my powerful voguevogue soloist. jeremy my future chauffeur to be. royce my fella blak jacket gang pardner. jieying the schizophrenic kitty. jeremiah. aunty claree. ali-cia. daniel the noisy pencilbox stealer. and kevin the blur guy) who occupy the first and second desk in lectures. plus the official.ostracized.chair. in third desk. and theres my superdah101 yiwei aka mum aka my dear buddy aka alotta stuff. and weiping who are in the RPG too!and theres virtuoso violet aka ruth aka spongebob. and theres indigo aka reid. theres the 3 piggies, zhuzhu laurence and xinying. and my wonderful scardey cat pardner, maggie. tutorial pardner fern. ze jokers leo aaron. shufeng. mr zhongliang. the funny girls from moe. my choirbuddies kihui and sharon. the powerful composer mrsjennyrompas. im glad to have them in my life.
sometimes it gets hard. but wells. just push it all away to that lil corner in the mind. and carry on. hard. but i'll try. after all, theres so much more worth living for.
omg. i woke up at 1.30pm yest. what kinda pig am i. had dinner with the gentle giant (he gave himself this name..we give him the benefit of the doubt). haha.. it was a case of two sotongs confusing each other up. so yea. i tenk we were DAMN confused. alamak. its madness. but it was fun! i like insulting him! just as he likes confusing me. and theres his house-by-the river. its white. it has white furniture inside too. and it has great facilities like swmming pool, lotsa chefs, big kitchens, big parking lots with grand limousines. and theres lotsa breeeeeze. im jealous. but i have a place reserved for me specially in his house: the fan (switched on at top speed). how generous.
yest was the bbq at cum's house. there were lotsa red pple ard! haa. all red from the drinking they did. kinda amusing. i got to talk to ppl i din see for ages. like haresh derek jesslim huiyi clara. and talked abit to hilda kat. yays we are gonna meet up when they start at smu. exciting. and i hope that jesslim does really well for her As..was great talking to her yest. shes still the same mann. really nice to get along with. :)
happy happy birthday to shaunz and a belated one to my darling huili! yupps. im so glad you liked the icecream cake. the prata. the tealights. and eveyrthing.
happy n-day to sg! hohos. :) hmms. not much of a n-day anw.. just that its great cos i get one day off from sch!! but nth much again, compared to what my sis gets.. they have a half day, and two holidays. boos. maybe cos im not in govt schs anymore.. dun really feel any excitement this year at n-day.
rem i used to get quite excited over it.. all the hype and fun we had in school. hmms. like how every year all of us kiddoes would come to sch in red and white. feelin oh so patriotic. then in rgps we would march over to hpps and celeb it with the enemies across the field.hehe. in crescent, i spent n-days at the sidelines with the band, playing for the parade and all. esp memorable was sec 4 when our class decided to have SOme fun!! so we ordered helium. we bot red and white prettie balloons. we wore our prettie red class jersey and white skirts (cloths actually). we bot red and white tape too! and there were the wonderful sashes we made, with the words "Royal princess" on it. Her majesty was of course, miss malini. yes. that was super fun. all the pictures we took. ahh. the happie smiles on the entire class.
in njc, ndc celeb were the most happening events. for my year we did great big giant floats. hohos. i love ours! the only one being carried by our dear solarians(like coolies ehs) with a big globe in the middle. and the reason why i like it even more is that: i was standing in the globe!! really fun. on top of the world feeling mann. as in literally too. :) hmms. all the hard work, effort, late nites and fun we had as a house making that special float.
i sound so patriotic dun i? woohoos. having spent 19 happie years in this lil island. i shld be. haha. its an island thats been home t o me and contains so many memories of my life.
oh yea. yiwei's back in sg!! i got the greatest shock of my life on mon mann. hoho. im so happie. thanx for the lovely cranberry jelly. the marcaroni and cheez. the choc. thanx for the surprise mann. welcome welcome back :) now we can go shopping, eat the thousand and one food, watch a concert tog, and also.. rem our d.o.c k! :)
was walking home today and i saw an elderly couple taking a late after-dinner stroll ard our neighbourhood. holding hands. chatting. nth wrong with that at all. just that. the familiarity they had with each other, how comfortable they were with each other. the look of contendment and quiet bliss. it just touched my heart. how nice it would be to have someone to grow old with. someone to share with, life's surprises, joys, sorows. heh. just random thoughts.
im up at 3am doing work again! and i dun even feel sleepy. oh no. thats it man! its grossly gross to be always staying up so late. i miss sleeping and having exciting nightmares and sleeptalking. oh, divine goddess of sleep, please rescue me from this living madness.
dinner yest was wonderful :) i had fun entertaining those crazy ppl with my embarassing stories while they in returned enteratained me with theirs. haha. the fish at black canyon is yumm.that dumb cummarran aka mr darlie aka tall guy aka super-achiever of the super-achievers aka my coookymonster was horribly late. hmms. looks good in his airforce uniform tho.thanx min for your letter. am so touched. i love them all. min, jan, cand, sishan, and xuan. cand and xuan..i really hope things work out fine for you two with ur overseas uni stuff. dun give up!! fight back against those horrid ppl! had icecream from that delicious place next door aft that with cumm and wee pin. good dessert. good company :) thanx guys. and well..sorry for my oh-so-unfunny crap. arghs. couldnt u at least had pretended to be amused?? wahahahha.
was utterly late for dinner with granny fia today. omg. im so sorry. u better take good care alrite, girl! u are dying in nyp.. so ppoor thing. hais. nvm. hang on there.. it'll soon be over on 26aug and u will get ur six weeks holis! (no 6 mths) thanx lots for ur card and pres too. utterly touched. yays. im so happie to meet you today. so happie to have a granny friend like you. u rock :)
today is friday. and im super duper delighted, overjoyed, immensely happy that its finally here. another week is over! and i'll be meeting my dear peeps from 04s27 and my cookymonster (who is still in love with cookys) for dinner later! and the best part is... after everything today.. I. CAn.SLEEEEp. o gosh. you dunno just how much that means to me mannn. i. need. sleep. i. want. sleep. BUT! everyday after school i just come home and..tada.. lo and behold. more assign to complete! and thus i havent slept for 3 nites in a row. i mean it. im amazed too. its taking a toll on me tho. i was hallucinating during history tut yest. wth! and on the bus too. omg. so darn embarassing huh. welll.s whatever lahh. hmms. o! and i met my darling smint yest!! for loads and loads of yummy mouthwatering victorskitchen dimmmmmsummmmmm! woohoo. thanx babe. we'll have jacket survey soon! and o i do hope you find ur first or second target. haha. cos you make it seem v nice. and u search so hard alr i tenk. make me feel so evil and guilty only lahhh! tskk. cheers peeps. back to my assigns.
i spent the past two days at home. suddenly just felt very blessed to have so many close friends ard.. tho i might not always get the chance to talk or meet up with them, but our friendships stillremain strong.. thus picture overload ahead. so beware. these are people who are important to my life.. people who made a difference to it. i have left out many i just realized.. but i cant find their pics on my com.. very sorry yahh. but yea. you guys rock my world. thank you for bringing meaning to my life. thank YOu for completing my world by being wonderfully, uniquely YOU. its such a beautiful, colourful world bcos of every single one of youu.