flowering plant in the Northern Hemisphere
with a globe of fine filaments
children (and the wind) love to blow away...
Click on the butterflies around the dandelions to get around.
Fire your imagination, Dream in colour
a boring old hag who loves to scream her head off, mutter in gibberish, and talk to random people on the streets.
Beautiful music. Gorgeous food. the Sun.Sea.Sand. Butterflies. Dance. Movies.
Spontaneity. Laughter. Love. Courage.
The Weird, Beautiful, and Unique.
The stuff dreams are made of
the Mini Austin!
the entire collection at HMV
my spanish chef (: im gonna marry him!
more of Desigual and Koi Nobori!
the yakpak hobo bag!
A Lifetime of Musicmaking with Inspiring People
and to share this with the world
Monday, April 24, 2006
its hard to believe that its been two and a half mths.
2 and 1/2 mths since u sent that first msg to me.
funny how time flies.
it seems just not long ago. that you were here trying to video my first reh of embers in the dark.
and now im already gonna perf wild child today, 12 hrs from now.
u havent even asked to hear it.
hard to believe. that its already been 2 1/2 mths. since the lib.
and its hard to believe that just a few weeks ago u were still a part of my daily life.
it seems like a long time ago.
u. u seemed to just flit into my life out of the blue. like 'bam bam' and there you were. as if it was the most natural thing to be doing. and somehow weirdly, it did feel like that.
and now, u seemed to have flitted right out of my life. just like that. pause. stop. gdbye.
as if it was just a dream.
just a dream i had stepped into and got pulled out before anything else happened.
u. u created ripples in the water which disappeared just as quickly as they were made.
and now, the lake is just as it were before.
so what do i do now?
and i just realized. its been almost 3 years. and 1 and 1/2 years.
can you believe it? i've had like 4 good talks this week! termed my discover-new-ppl-week. like starting from last sun! nowadays everyone is busy rushing here and there including me but its always a fruitful waste of time and a kinda therapy 'tt - talkingtherapy' when you sit down with someone and talk abt everything, nthing, something, and alotta things.
to these four ppl you will never read this i guess unless you blogsurf too and read my blog but hmm you guys don look like that type: thankyousss (:
woots. at least i had some good fun this week. they made me smile man. like from the heart. and for awhile, everything seemed good.
BUT! i've a bad feeling too. someone seems to have disappeared. i really mean lost, disappeared. like those kind whereby you need to publish an ad in the papers and paste fliers all over the island kinda disappearance. i cant find a friend! shits. WHERE ARE YOU? i tenk i shld do that: paste fliers and organize a search rescue team. and use leen's plan. and if later this stupid friend turns up. im gonna be made to feel damn paranoid again. dangs.
these days. ive been stuck in the state btw being awake and sleeping. at times im on a adrenaline high. at times im just dead. just a walking zombie. im awake and doing work, but am i really? or is it just crap? im craving for 4th may. that nite, im just gonna crawl into my bed and sleep there for 24 hours straight. and then, i'll be satisfied.
when quality is foregone in someways for quantity. then maybe its time to rethink the priorities and have a lil chat with oneself. or just simply to take a step back.
this time, i really feel completely burnt out. o well, i'll just keep that same stupid belief ive had in me there still. tho its stupid, somehow its the only thing that can keep me going.
composing. its fun. but its tough. dang dang dang.
playing the piano. yest nite i got to hear someone play in a manner that just abt touched the deepest parts of my heart. ms ching always tells me the best music is when it comes from the inside. inside of your heart and ur soul. without any need for theatrics.
yest nite, i heard music that just did that. it came rite from the inner sanctum of his soul. and its totally inspiring. its beautiful. its worth that one hour at 9pm. it woke us all up.
that guy's called felix chang. someday somewhere. if you see his name on a poster ever, don even pause. just buy a ticket to watch!
these 3 days are our supp study break. but they've deviated to become more like our rehearsal camp. man!! chock full of accomp and compo reh. its total madness. o well. at least no lectures and stuff. hopefully i get my work done. everyone's getting super stressed out. jiayou peeps...we can do this. grind our noses for one more mth and we can breathe freely again!! ( for awhile at least.) hohos. ms ching's gathering on fri. haha i tenk she's just as easily excited as moi..its damn funny to see her going into her excited state.
sg is getting smalller! or rather, bencoolen street is becoming hot. its like, totally THE place to be seen at. wahahaha.. its the place where ive been bumping into frens, seniors and juniors whom ive not met for ages. like ah yang n yux. (2x somemore!) like shuying who works somewhere dere. like arif whos at burlington sq now which is freaking near nafa. and xinhe's dad works opp my sch too. i shld do more investigation maybe i'll discover more ppl! so...be there too! its THE happening place to be seen n heard nowadays! (:
i met my granny friend on thurs! i love mtng her. she makes me laugh silly. we have gorgeous lunches and dinenrs and desserts. and we have fantastic silly people watching sessions together (not on purpose tho).
she insists im an EVil girl. but hello. she tenks shes very powerful! hahaha.
and the best part? we can talk abt everything and i mean seriously, everything. considering the fact that we've been part of each others lives since we were SEVEN. hohos. thats kinda really cool huh. and we're gonna stick in each others lives till we're 700 years old.
(by that time we'll be so sick of each other)
we were at nydc and we saw and heard this:
two women who obviously just ended a workout session plunked their bodies at the table beside ours.
and guess what their convo was abt?
counting calories, nutrition values and whatnot.
and guess what they ordered?
huge loads of pasta with sinfully huge huge meaty meatballs.sinful soda drinks.
fwah. so much for being healthy.
my mum makes me go mad too. today morning she was attempting to clean those lil panda bears we have at home when she suddenly exclaimed:
omg! the paint is all coming out!
--- the whole bear's face is now a distorted mess of black and white--
thanks for all those times that you have been on the receiving end of my venting of frustrations. for just listening to me go on and on abt goodness knows what. or just to tolerate me. thanks for the good advice you give me and the encouragement. thanks for the constant reminder that i am NOT superwoman and i need to take a break too. and thanks for the bitching you do with me. making me laugh and bring me out from my sleeping mode when i need to wake up in school.
ppl mite tenk you are just one siao person full of nonsense only but im glad to have you as a friend that i can trust.
yeaps. being a musician is certainly tough. but nahh what i wrote in my previous post abt being tired of having to learn new music all the time..i din mean it in a negative way. haha.
im damn glad and feeling blessed to be studying music. to be learning so much everyday. to be playing so much beautiful music everyday. to work with great ppl. i am enjoying it. and i wouldnt exchange it for anything else in the world.
(: and its wonderful, to be alive. despite everything. (:
and this post is for ideabank too. thanks for being there for me.
the idea of taking time to learn them thoroughly inside out now seems like a luxury.
being able to sleep soundly and to wake up naturally without an alarm clock
now. thats an even greater luxury.
one that i crave so greatly but i'll nv get it!!!
im tired of not being taken seriously.
and im so extremely tired of people who are still stuck in 2000decades ago. who still waste their time contemplating abt MY life which has no impact or great consequence on THEIR lives. in any particular way, whatsoever. zero. nada. zilch.
these people amaze me with their gorgeous audacity and nerve to even think that they have the rights to barge into my studio and question me. when hello. we barely exchange more than 10 words each week. and suddenly, there they appear all smiling. just cos they felt like gossiping at that moment and they felt an insatiable need to fulfil their quest for knowledge.
and my greatest apologies to you then. you do not and you never will get me to tell you anything at all. i feel no trace of trust towards you at all.
boos. no more entya :( thats damn damn sad. nvmmmmmm.
had my shiok dinner with laurence midorie peifang and her bf whose name i forgot again. hahaha. lotsa great food man. oysters omellete mussels kailan carrot cake fishballs rice stingray etc etc. great delicious and cheap! (: so im feeling pretty damn satisfied now. woots. donuts rock too! as can be seen by the huge crowd of us in that tiny lil shop yest evening. the couple must love us to bits. we're like their nos 1 fans! walnut cheese rocks. and ichiban and thai express...ahhh. heaven heaven heaven! thankyew to fella jew and mr. penguin for the happening dinners! im so proud of myself! i decoded almost all the secrets in the end oke...o! and not to mention haagen daz with the yummy banana slices.
and so as you would be tenking by now...this crazy girl here had a damn sinful week which was dominated by one main impt activity - eating. you're right. i love eating. (: but its making broke broke broke. i need an account just for my eating cravings!