Dandelions are little miracles...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

wow. so much has been happening this past week or so. ive been rushing all over the place from cck to places like khatib bbtok nj siglap vch and esp. and guess what.poor me will have spent more than 10 days in close succession at vch at nite. how terribly exciting huh!
so bascially im zonked out from all these rushing ard to rehearsals and so on. its gonna end soon. yest was the nj etude 30 and tmr will be the orchidpark concert.. and on 12th, the wasbe. and then i tenk i'll miss all these. haha.
nj etude.. hmm. i enjoyed all the alumni practices we had.. coming back tog.. it was just veh nice to you know.. just sit tog in the band room and make music again? it seems eons ago that i played in a band. and last mon's prac rocked man! it was totally sHIok playing armenian dances esp.. woohoo. itenk rasull's a gd conductor!
watching the juniors play yest was incredible too. it felt like.. coming home in a way. thats the way we all will feel i guess. no matter how much im starting to run from band concerts, i'll always want to watch njc. all the familiar faces, the school song, the audience..so family. daryl's solo in cry of the celts rocked. v touching! the horns rocked :) edo's conducting was super powerful man. he and thomas can be my new idols..

you know sth.. i made this resolution quite some time ago.. that i wont bother any of the 2 of them ago. maybe its cos of the stuff that happened before that.. maybe its cos none of them ever did anything much. and cos all of it made us too tired. tired of trying. ah well.. maybe its fated to be... that we werent meant to be. i also made a similar resolution abt another person in my life..
ah well. congrats to me.. it kinda worked for the two.. and i mean both ways! sometimes i tenk abt how things would be different if well.. either party did sth more. if i had wanted it more that i actually took more action. but then again maybe this is best for us.
.. u know how sometimes we wish and wish so much for a particular thing.. so much that it costs you heartache, tears, time, and waiting? and all that wishing was for nothing.. and there was nothing you could do due to the situation? so you closed your heart. but what if one day a chance popped up. in a weird way.. its been sth you waited for more than just mths. suddenly..you dunno if you are supp to feel happy or.. what.

makes me wonder. if we do really want something that badly.. why do we still hesitate? is it cos we arent sure of it.. and we wonder subconsciously if other choices would be better..and if thats what we do.. then is that wrong? or is it a sign that.. maybe one does not want that thing that badly after all? or do we hesitate.. cos we are scared? scared of giving everything of yourself. scared of what might happen, both the good and bad. or is it cos it aint right?

chilipadi on 9:14 AM